When we have a sense of ownership over something, studies show that we value it more highly.
Nothing terribly surprising there, right?
Let’s say you’re clearing out your closet.
You’ve decided to toss anything that doesn't light you up, and you're ready and rarin' to DO THIS.
If you’re anything like me, you start out strong, tossing clothes into donation bags with gleeful abandon, already feeling giddy and fancy free.
But then…
…the chittering doubts begin.
“Okay, so I know I haven’t worn this corduroy blazer in, like, seven years, BUT if I ever do a 70s-themed party, it would be so totally perfect!”
“I can’t get rid of these suspenders, can I? I mean, they’re the only thing that goes with those pants I’ve never worn…”
As the what ifs and but maybes swarm in, I lose steam...
...and it suddenly feels imperative that I go clean out the dryer lint trap or do basically anything else.
After reading Greg McKeown’s Essentialism this weekend, I want to share an empowering, clarifying question you can ask in any situation where FOMO is clouding your judgment and tangling your energy in knots.
“If I didn’t already own this, how much would I spend to buy it?”
In my case, for 99% of the items that were triggering a tsunami of doubts, the answer to that question was zero. Precisely zero dollars is what I’d be willing to spend.
And this doesn’t just apply to stuff. Try these variations on anything else in your life:
“If I didn’t have this opportunity, what would I be willing to do to acquire it?”
Or:
“If I wasn’t already involved in this project, how hard would I work to get on it?”
...if you’re in a situation where you’ve already invested blood, sweat, and tears.
Maybe it’s a career or a relationship, a course of study, or even a belief system.
The sunk cost fallacy kicks in, and we get mired in endless loops of, “Well, maybe if I work just a little bit harder, I can finally turn this thing around…”
But imagine that you have zero connection to the situation, no energetic entanglements, just the freedom to choose.
“If I didn’t have this opportunity, what would I be willing to do to acquire it?”
With both a New Moon and Imbolc, the start of spring, occurring, now is a great time to get clear on what’s in your life because you’ve chosen it, because it genuinely aligns with your values…
…and what’s there, consuming your finite time and energetic resources, simply by default.
—whether they be pants we never wear or job opportunities that, if we're honest, would be better suited to someone else.
When we regularly practice this intentional releasing, we keep energy moving and cycling, allowing life to bring in the resources we need, when we need them…
…instead of creating pools of stagnant energy that leave us feeling sluggish and stuck.
Here’s to the release.
When I sat down to write an essay for today’s Full Moon, something unexpected happened. I’d intended to write about The Undiscovered Self (Present and Future), which Jung wrote in the spring of 1956, and which is more relevant today than ever. Let me share a passage that illustrates just how timely this material is. Jung is referring to a collective mindset, the ‘mass mentality’ that promises freedom from responsibility…at a cost. Where the many are, there is security; what the many believe...
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